I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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