i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
