I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
