Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
