Me too!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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