Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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