Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
