oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
