Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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