careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
