I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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