This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
