If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
