Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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