don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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