There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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