At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
