guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
