Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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