Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
