with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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