i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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