i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
North Korea, Best Korea!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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