She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
