Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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