There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
where are my eyebrows?
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