I cockslap morals
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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