I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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