hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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