just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
