have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My feet surprised me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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