my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
