You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
