if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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