Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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