They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
