I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
