This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
