.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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