I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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