As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
