im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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