uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
