she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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