Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
