you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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