the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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