I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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