i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
