If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize