So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
