I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
