This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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