I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I will be naked everywhere
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
